Published Down Undah

May 6, 2010 at 7:10 pm (fiction, Gigs, Good Things, kate, News, Shameless Self Promotion, travel, Uncategorized, writing) (, , , , , , , , )


I have an affinity for Australia for a number of reasons. Kangaroos, the didgeridoo, Wallabies , Chris Lilley, a vast expanse of extraordinarily venomous yet fascinating creatures, the word bogan, and now I have possibly the best reason yet. They published one of my short stories on Australian Reader!
It’s called What Do You Know, check’er out
> Let’s get bogan

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February is slushy.

February 23, 2010 at 2:36 pm (kate, News, random) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

BRAAWWWWK

Current mood: Hulk
Current weather: It’s snowing UP
Current obsession: Lost, Franks Red Hot, travel and cookies
Current stuff I’m excited about: Being published in the April edition of Fresh! Literary Magazine. Based outta Boass-tin Mass, The Buried Life, being a finalist in this contest to win a trip to Costa Rica.

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Play Time

October 27, 2009 at 6:36 pm (Gigs, Good Things, kate, Local, Shameless Self Promotion, writing) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

This past Sunday… My brain exploded.
A small group of playwrights and wannabe playwrights (hai that’s me), gathered together at the Alumnae Theatre on Friday for something called “Write Now” (get it?!)
A retired fireman named Gary Wignall sat us all down and gave us a talking to for about an hour. He was cool. He reminded of a New Yorker for some reason. He just had a genuine, experienced coolness vibe going on. He talked about the history of firefighting in Toronto starting from the 1800’s all the way up to now.
DID YOU KNOW: The Alumnae Theatre used to be a fire station in 190-something?
Here are some things I learned from Gary…
-People used to have buckets outside their house filled with water in case of fire and they were called the Bucket Brigade. Cute.
-Almost all of them were volunteer
-At one point they had no masks
-One time, a fire station caught fire (lolz) and all the firemen continued their meetings in a tavern across the street.
I was disappointed I didn’t hear anything about a pet Dalmation… Why were they firedogs in the first place? And how come you never see them today? Doesn’t anyone own Dalmations anymore? WTF where are all the Dalmations?

dalmationfire

how come you don't love me anymore


Anyway, we were given 48 hours to write a 10 minute play that could be inspired from any snippet, small or large, that Gary said. Anything at all that set off a creative spark. One thing he said was that if somebody had used up all their sick days, they could get other people to go in and work their hours. That was the starting point for my play.
I totally lucked out and got set up with a great director who totally got what I was trying to say. She hit the nail on the head, nail’d it! It’s crazy….CRAZY awesome to see something that spawned from your own random thought in your imagination and then have it come alive in front of your eyes like the Frankenstein monster by people who actually know what they’re doing. I was so excited I think part of my brain melted. The cast was also perfection. But more excitingly, one of them runs another little biz-nass called Jammin’ On The One, and he wants to stage it! It would be performed (SANS scripts in hand) Spring 2010. No jokes.
lolcatwant

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Animal of the Week: Spiderman Lizard

September 21, 2009 at 6:52 pm (animals, crazy, trends, Want) (, , , , , , , , , )

watch out here comes the lizard spider man

watch out here comes the lizard spider man

Behold. It is a lizard, and it looks like Spiderman. Nothing could be more perfect, except if it were an actual spider, OR if Spiderman had been Lizardman the whole time. But it’s kind of too late for that now, he’s already too well established as Spiderman. And how would Lizardman become Lizardman? I don’t think they bite. Maybe he could get whiplash from the lizard’s tail, and it breaks the skin or something. Either way, irrelevant.

Oddly enough, in one episode of the retro Spider-Man cartoon, he and the Lizard King were actually enemies. Assuming mating would be out of the question after this, I’m not sure how Spiderman lizard came about.
This guy’s real name is the Mwanza flat-headed rock agama… But isn’t it so much more fun to say Spiderman lizard? I think so.

Facts with suggested additions about the real Spiderman Lizard.

-They’re from Sub-Saharan Africa. (We can say sewers of New York City for argument’s sake though)

-They have a diet of locusts, crickets, mealworms and waxworms. (We can say diet of criminals and street thugs for argument’s sake though)

-They can usually be seen basking on rocks in the heat of the day. (And fighting crime in alleyways in the dead of night)

-They can run on their hind legs and scale walls. (Addition not needed as this is already awesome.)
spiderman_lizard

These apparently make very good pets, as if you weren’t already sold. But good luck getting one, demand is crazy and they’re sold out in most exotic pet stores. Karen Baker, the owner of a reptile specialist store in the UK says, “People are drawn to them because of their unusual colourings.”….. Yeah, maybe…Or because it looks like fucking Spiderman!

The comic fans are the most die-hard in finding this lizard as a pet. But I hope they do thorough research before buying. When the Agamas look cool, they look really cool, but these guys also turn brown a lot. What a disappointment that would be if you weren’t expecting it… Or anytime, really.

Not brown yet, still good

Not brown yet, still good

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What’s in your garden?

June 30, 2009 at 3:51 pm (crazy, Design, Rage, random) (, , , , , , , , , , )

I found this cool picture, of radishes with faces carved like Jack-o-lanterns. I think I should uproot the radishes from the ambush, carve these faces, and then replant them. When my neighbor inevitably pulls them up again, he’ll see the faces and it will be UTTER CRAZINESS.

Tim Burton style radishes

Tim Burton style radishes

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Animal of the Week: Kevin from UP

June 17, 2009 at 2:32 pm (animals, News) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Everything about the movie UP was greatness. I haven’t enjoyed an animated movie like that in a while. One of the best parts is Kevin, the bird. She is soo hilarious, especially if you watch it while “up”, you know, up … you know?

Kevin looks like the prehistoric lovechild of Big Bird, an ostrich and Tucan Sam.
Up-Kevin-Russell-web
Anyways, if you haven’t seen Up yet you really should. It has 98% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Meaning it’s almost a perfect movie. Whoever is in the 2% that said it was bad, hates life.

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IT’S TIME

June 16, 2009 at 2:02 pm (fiction, Good Things, kate, News, Shameless Self Promotion) (, , , , , , , , )

Man Park Bench Central park

Made into the 2009 Summer edition wooop
Check out an odd little tale I wrote a few years ago on The Smoking Poet.
Second story down. It had to be edited way way down in order to meet the 1000 word limit, the original is even more hammered than this.

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All I Want for Christmas…

June 11, 2009 at 7:15 pm (crazy, Design, Good Things, Want) (, , , , , , , )

…is this freakin’ Star Wars toaster

setting: darth

setting: darth

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Animal of the Week – Alcoholic Vervet Monkeys

June 8, 2009 at 3:10 pm (alcohol, animals, crazy, travel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The coolest animal since the Jerboa. Fast foward to about the 2:00 mark to see drunk monkeys. Yes, they’re monkeys, who DRINK BOOZE. Proof of evolution lies in the eyes and liver of this beautiful creature.
thirstymonkey
They mostly hang out in parts of Africa, though some have made it over to Florida and the Caribbean islands. SIDE NOTE: I’ll be there June 22nd, and will gladly share some cocktails with them.

where the boozemonkeys reside.

where the boozemonkeys reside.

Protect your supply.

Protect your supply.


You can tell the males from the females because the males have blue penises. Whereas the females, have no penises.

Just like that fake vegetarian you know, the majority of their diet is grass and fruits, though they sometimes eat small insects. They have to drink every day, unfortunately most days this is just water. But for this reason, they never stray too far from rivers, lakes, and keg parties. drunkmonkey-1
In St. Kitts they’ve been known to steal brightly coloured boozy drinks from the tourists. If the monkey feels like his safety or drink is threatened, it will hunt you down and BITE your finger off, so if tourists drinks get taken there’s not much they can do about it.

You know that douchebag from the bar who gets wasted and wants to sing Bon Jovi karaoke then fight everyone? That’s exactly how these monkeys can get. At first they seem so fun, maybe even kind of cute, great to party with. But don’t touch their drinks, don’t look at their babies.

Fun fact: a Python can swallow a vervet monkey whole. WOW. So there you go, if you’re scared of the vervet monkeys, carry a Python.

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Jam with Tamarama

June 5, 2009 at 2:18 pm (crazy, Good Things, Gossip, kate, Music, News, Shout outs, Toronto, Want) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Jay and Pottsy of Tamarama

Jay and Pottsy of Tamarama


So, my roomie Hilary and I went to a Darfur benefit concert this Tuesday at the Berkeley Heritage Church, featuring Australian import band, Tamarama.
You might recognize the frontman, Jay, from MTV’s The City. Once we managed to get past the fact that we were surrounded by swooning 16 year old girls, it was pretty fun. The bar was barren though so we had to make our way across the street to a very shady bar called Buffalo’s, where we got into an argument with a man about the skillset of Lady Gaga, and discussed the Dixie Chicks. Then his girlfriend threatened to beat us up, for allowing conversation.
ANYHOO. The show was fun, but what was more fun was coincidentally befriending the band’s manager, who allowed us our own meet and greet session.
4some

4some

. Everyone was soo excited to meet Jay and Pottsy because they are former models and Jay was on The City, AND dated the hottest girl alive, my favourite VS model. We were equally excited to meet the other guys too, the forgotten ones!
sweet little Jasper, we wouldn't forget you

sweet little Jasper, we wouldn't forget you


During our meet and greet, we half jokingly suggested they come to a bar with us, since we were probably the only girls in there of legal drinking age. And he proceeded to say the single greatest possible word that could have come out of his mouth at that exact moment…”Okay.”…. Wait, what? Now the pressure was on to think of a hip enough bar to impress them with, but the first suggestion that came out was, “not Buffalo’s”. Knowing where NOT to go is at least a start. I said if this actually happened I would eat my ticket.
P1030405
Anyways, we ended up at the Drake Hotel, pretty snazzy. There was tequila, it got pretty sloppy, especially for a Tuesday night. We left Jay the hot aussie in a pool of admirers (how the eff did they get in, does the Drake only ID on weekends?) got some drunk pizza which was in a word, awesome, and made it home in time to sleep for an hour before work. W00t!
post-tequila

post-tequila


We did it all for the good cause! 100% of ticket sales went to benefit Darfur.
the band

the band

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