Office cats and you

November 25, 2010 at 4:08 pm (agencies, animals, Good Things, random, SapientNitro, Want)

Let us discuss the benefits of housing a small feline in your work environment.

Why is this perfect? I will tell you. A cat does not give a shit about you. It won’t bother you while you’re working, it won’t beg you to take it for a walk moments before a client meeting, it will just be present.

They boost morale
Happy workers are better workers. Kittens evoke happiness wherever they go. How can you not feel joy when a kitten stumbles into the room, maybe chasing its own tail like a really small drunk person, but cuter and covered in fluff.

Lolcats
With a cat in the office, you have endless opportunities to take photos of it in compromising positions, and make your very own lolcat captions.

Cats can be tables
What’s better than a table with stuff on it? That’s right, a cat with stuff on it.
If there’s an entire website dedicated to it, like stuffonmycat.com, it must be worth doing. Daily.

Cats = the internet
We work in online, the internet is our home and playground. That being said, we have to take into consideration… The internet fucking loves cats.

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Animal of the Week: Sun Bear

November 22, 2010 at 7:20 pm (animals, random)

taste the rainbow

The Sun Bear has two names, Sun Bear and Honey Bear, both equally adorable. That sounds so cute, it just makes me wanna put honey all over myself then approach its babies.
They’re found in the tropical rainforests of Asia, and stand about 4 ft high, so they’re on the smaller side of the bear family. Even more reason to make friends with them.
Sun Bears also can’t keep their tonuges in their mouths because they use them to ram beehives. Imagine that in your ear? It could probably de-brain you if it wanted to… Remember that next time you think to yourself: “it’s only 4 feet tall and has poor vision, let’s jump on its back and see if we can ride it.”

If Winnie the Pooh was ever made into a live action production, a Sun Bear should play him.

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So I guess NOTHING happened lastnight…

May 27, 2010 at 2:52 pm (News, random, Toronto) (, , , )

…Because this was the front cover of the newspaper this morning.

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Is this really a competition you want to win?

March 9, 2010 at 8:38 pm (Local, Rage, random) (, , , , , , , , , , )

“Ugh, I can’t believe she thought she was sicker than me. I am obviously the sick one.”

you threw up for 2 hours? Well I threw up for 9

…Is what I had to listen to on the 501 streetcar the other morning (my ipod was dead), and it isn’t the first time. I can understand that many people are competitive by nature, but it’s usually about achievements, contests, and personal goals, whatever. The part that makes me wonder about our sanity, is that natural human instinct to get competitive about anything and everything, even things we wouldn’t want at all.

Let’s take winter ailments for example. If one has a cough, the other has a cough and a sore throat, then wait, a third party jumps in with a cough, sore throat, and fever. Back to an update on patient #1, now both their legs are broken, on top of the cold. This just in, patient #2’s cough and dry throat are still lingering, legs broken, and oh my god, they’ve just burst into flames! Congrats to patient #2, taking the win with spontaneous combustion.

There can’t really be a desire to be more physically weak, or ill, than another person, can there? Technically wouldn’t this mean you’re in fact, the one losing? Then why do people still feel the need to outdo one another in these categories? I guess it’s not always about being the best or the healthiest, it seems to be just being more EXTREEMME, whether that’s a positive or a negative. It’s the need to “beat” somebody else at what they’re doing or even what their current ailment is.

So let’s calm down, shut the eff up, take our vitamins and always make sure the music device is fully charged before leaving the house.

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February is slushy.

February 23, 2010 at 2:36 pm (kate, News, random) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

BRAAWWWWK

Current mood: Hulk
Current weather: It’s snowing UP
Current obsession: Lost, Franks Red Hot, travel and cookies
Current stuff I’m excited about: Being published in the April edition of Fresh! Literary Magazine. Based outta Boass-tin Mass, The Buried Life, being a finalist in this contest to win a trip to Costa Rica.

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A Good Idea vs. The Good Idea

February 1, 2010 at 6:19 pm (advertising, industry, kate, random) (, , , , , , )

As an ad creative, one of the big things that keeps the drive alive, and desire to stay in the industry is that feeling you get the moment an idea comes up that you know is a good idea… We’ve all heard that in a brainstorm there are no bad ideas… Actually, most of the time there are plenty of good ones, even more so-so ones, plenty of “meh” shoulder shruggers and takebacks*, but nothing tops the one, golden idea.

The difference between a good idea and THE good idea I’m referring to is that you’re very much aware it is golden. There’s an element of excitement you feel, picturing and planning the best laid plans for how the campaign will play out, and that recurring thought, “this is gonna be soo good.”

It can be a little bit demotivating sitting in a pool of ideas that are only “okay”, and trying to pick the one with potential to be molded into something great – something it’s not. Then what can you do? You can’t reshape dried cement – which I’ve tried to do, and yes, they are comparable.

When an idea hits you and you with absolutely no doubt in your mind that it is the greatest idea EVER… Okay maybe not ever, but the greatest solution for that particular client, then you’ve picked the chocolate bar with the golden ticket. Yes, you’re fucking Charlie.

It makes you just want to dump every other idea said this far, and quit thinking of new ones. All you want to do is nurture the new brainchild. And why wouldn’t you? Did Charlie continue buying Wonka bars that same day after he won? No he didn’t. ‘Cause he already picked the winner and knew he was headed to a world full of endless joy.

Maybe in those situations that’s all you should do. If there’s any doubt in your mind as to whether it’s the best idea, then we’re talking about different things.

You can still salvage some of the others, but let’s be honest, they’re just filler now. Maybe I’m lame, or too optimistic, or too into advertising. But when there’s an idea that I’m positive is going to work, my brain explodes into confetti and if life were a musical, that’s the moment where the fully choreographed and costumed backup dancers would appear.

*Takebacks = “Hey how about… Oh, wait…Actually, no.”

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Time to replace the church window

October 30, 2009 at 2:55 pm (Pictures, random) (, , , , , , )

Probably seemed like a good idea at the time…

churchwindow

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What’s in your garden?

June 30, 2009 at 3:51 pm (crazy, Design, Rage, random) (, , , , , , , , , , )

I found this cool picture, of radishes with faces carved like Jack-o-lanterns. I think I should uproot the radishes from the ambush, carve these faces, and then replant them. When my neighbor inevitably pulls them up again, he’ll see the faces and it will be UTTER CRAZINESS.

Tim Burton style radishes

Tim Burton style radishes

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Air Conditioner Win

June 18, 2009 at 5:15 pm (Design, random) (, , , )

aircon

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Operation Radish Ambush Part I

June 13, 2009 at 1:16 pm (crazy, Gossip, Rage, random) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Picture 2
Here’s the background story. My neighbor and I don’t like each other. He is a fucking crazy Mexican, so I will refer to him as Senor Loco instead of his real name. Which is all well and good, because Senor Loco might as well be his real name. He’s been evicted from previous places for fighting with people so I know it’s not just me.
Here is a list of things Senor Loco does on a regular basis:

-Vacuums 3 x a day or more, starting at 6am

-Separates all laundry based not only on colour, but items too. Socks with pants? Never going to happen.

-Also does approximately 3+ loads of laundry per day. Set on full water, and hot. Even if it’s just for 5 washcloths. That actually happened.

-Leaves me angry letters duct taped to the walls of the lobby, filled with CAPS and exclamation marks!!!!

-Faces the sprinkler toward my back door door, and on the steps above, creating a waterfall I have to pass through if I want to leave.
lolcatsprinkler

-Can’t go down the stairs if there’s a footprint on them. Someone has to come clean it before he can step.

-One night the landlord called to make sure I was alive, because “he is the type of person who might, do something…” WTF.

-Windex’s the stairs and door. Every. Day. They’re not glass.

-Screams in Spanish on the phone. Everyday.

-Stole my shoe rack to make a mini gate around his garden (which will soon be ambushed)

-Lurks.

-Waits until our 5ft recycling bin weighs 200lbs, then asks me why I don’t carry it down to the street.

-Calls the landlord to complain about me, then calls me to complain about the landlord.

-Has a different young male partner – not that there’s anything wrong with that – over every single day of the week, who come over in rental cars then are never seen again…

-Broke into my house one time and took my dog.

He basically owns the backyard garden. I’ve accepted that he has completely taken it over, and will admit, thanks to his OCD it looks quite lovely. He plants all his flowers and little mini trees, and I-don’t-know-what plants. He maintains it, waters it when it’s raining (water conservation fail), and keeps everything looking bright.

All that is very nice. I had one, ONE, plant that I cherished. It was a radish plant, and it was seriously awesome. Like a mega radish plant, with apparent super strength that grew really fast and still looked pretty. To give a little perspective, if Batman transformed into a plant, he’d be this radish.

I’ve always wanted to grow a summer vegetable garden, and this year when I finally did, I was enthralled when the radishes especially flourished.
In the back of my head there was a fear that Senor Loco would uproot the precious radishes, due to his constant heavy maintenance of the yard. He would immediately recognize anything alien. Anything NOT planted by him = not welcome. So I circled them with rocks to make them stand out and show that they were obviously something meant to be there, and not weeds or anything like that.

However… The other day, to my HORROR, I saw a bunch of crushed little red things (like my heart) in the dirt on the opposite side of the lawn, and immediately went to check the rock circle.

radish graveyard

radish graveyard


heyy....is something missing?

heyy....is something missing?


As suspected, my radishes were GONE. Uprooted, radishnapped. Enraged, I thought of my options. I could either…
A) calmly inform him of what he’d done.
B) Go mental and rip out all his flowers
C) dump the remainder (and then some) of the seeds throughout the garden, resulting in a surprise epic radish attack in a few weeks, when I will already be moved out.

I figured if I went with A, he wouldn’t really care, and although B was tempting, it’s not the flower’s fault their keeper is batshit crazy.
Thus, Operation Radish Ambush was born.
This guy gets away with quite a bit of ridiculousness, but murdering my radishes is the straw the broke the camel’s back… I think that’s how that expression goes, but what I’m really trying to say is,
FUCK YOU NEIGHBOR, YOU’RE GETTING RADISH AMBUSHED… You’re getting RAMBUSHED.
I’ve also heard that mint, and strawberries spread like swine flu, so maybe I’ll throw in some of those. It will look like Christmas. (Christmas from hell).

PS. YES I’ve gone over the possibilities of animal attacks. It was the Senor.

OPERATION RADISH AMBUSH II

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