The Bachelorette…

May 31, 2010 at 2:30 pm (dating, Gossip, News, Reviews, TV) (, , , , , )

Last season on the Bachelor with Jake, besides him setting a new record for the amount of tears that can be shed per episode, we also met Ali. Then they met each other. Then THIS went down..

Ali left, she chose work over love. And then, a network said she could be the next Bachelorette and have 25 guys vie for her attention, and Ali was all like, “fuck my job!”

Now she’s the bachelorette, and the 25 guys who met her once are all falling in love and they just know she is their future wife, they just know it!!!
Ali’s got a whole batch of goodness to chose from. Including a few local guys from Toronto! Too bad they’re such an epic embarrassment to the nation.

Don't worry. Rated-R is just my professional wrestling name.

One guy, Derek, but with the nickname “Shooter”, decided it would be a cute idea to confess that he got his nickname due to premature ejaculation… Shooter didn’t receive a rose. If I were in Ali’s shoes, I’d boot myself off the show, or at least ask for a do-over in the casting.

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Twitter + People = Tweeple

June 17, 2009 at 2:10 pm (Gigs, Good Things, Gossip, Interwebs, News, Shameless Self Promotion, Shout outs) (, , , , , , , , )

Picture 7
Side gigs are fun. Especially when they’re about shit I enjoy discussing already, like music and movies and gossip. That’s what Tweeple Magazine is. They are a start up social media company, having a little fun with an online magazine combining news/celeb news, with the overwhelming popularity of Twitter.
Some articles I’ve written for them so far are:
Lindsay Lohan flashed everyone on Twitter. Soo basically, the world (again).
MC Hammer has a reality show. … umm….yeah.
Twitter: The Movie. I don’t know what I’d rather watch, this or MC Hammer’s show.
And, Disney joining Twitter. YAY!

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Operation Radish Ambush Part I

June 13, 2009 at 1:16 pm (crazy, Gossip, Rage, random) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Picture 2
Here’s the background story. My neighbor and I don’t like each other. He is a fucking crazy Mexican, so I will refer to him as Senor Loco instead of his real name. Which is all well and good, because Senor Loco might as well be his real name. He’s been evicted from previous places for fighting with people so I know it’s not just me.
Here is a list of things Senor Loco does on a regular basis:

-Vacuums 3 x a day or more, starting at 6am

-Separates all laundry based not only on colour, but items too. Socks with pants? Never going to happen.

-Also does approximately 3+ loads of laundry per day. Set on full water, and hot. Even if it’s just for 5 washcloths. That actually happened.

-Leaves me angry letters duct taped to the walls of the lobby, filled with CAPS and exclamation marks!!!!

-Faces the sprinkler toward my back door door, and on the steps above, creating a waterfall I have to pass through if I want to leave.
lolcatsprinkler

-Can’t go down the stairs if there’s a footprint on them. Someone has to come clean it before he can step.

-One night the landlord called to make sure I was alive, because “he is the type of person who might, do something…” WTF.

-Windex’s the stairs and door. Every. Day. They’re not glass.

-Screams in Spanish on the phone. Everyday.

-Stole my shoe rack to make a mini gate around his garden (which will soon be ambushed)

-Lurks.

-Waits until our 5ft recycling bin weighs 200lbs, then asks me why I don’t carry it down to the street.

-Calls the landlord to complain about me, then calls me to complain about the landlord.

-Has a different young male partner – not that there’s anything wrong with that – over every single day of the week, who come over in rental cars then are never seen again…

-Broke into my house one time and took my dog.

He basically owns the backyard garden. I’ve accepted that he has completely taken it over, and will admit, thanks to his OCD it looks quite lovely. He plants all his flowers and little mini trees, and I-don’t-know-what plants. He maintains it, waters it when it’s raining (water conservation fail), and keeps everything looking bright.

All that is very nice. I had one, ONE, plant that I cherished. It was a radish plant, and it was seriously awesome. Like a mega radish plant, with apparent super strength that grew really fast and still looked pretty. To give a little perspective, if Batman transformed into a plant, he’d be this radish.

I’ve always wanted to grow a summer vegetable garden, and this year when I finally did, I was enthralled when the radishes especially flourished.
In the back of my head there was a fear that Senor Loco would uproot the precious radishes, due to his constant heavy maintenance of the yard. He would immediately recognize anything alien. Anything NOT planted by him = not welcome. So I circled them with rocks to make them stand out and show that they were obviously something meant to be there, and not weeds or anything like that.

However… The other day, to my HORROR, I saw a bunch of crushed little red things (like my heart) in the dirt on the opposite side of the lawn, and immediately went to check the rock circle.

radish graveyard

radish graveyard


heyy....is something missing?

heyy....is something missing?


As suspected, my radishes were GONE. Uprooted, radishnapped. Enraged, I thought of my options. I could either…
A) calmly inform him of what he’d done.
B) Go mental and rip out all his flowers
C) dump the remainder (and then some) of the seeds throughout the garden, resulting in a surprise epic radish attack in a few weeks, when I will already be moved out.

I figured if I went with A, he wouldn’t really care, and although B was tempting, it’s not the flower’s fault their keeper is batshit crazy.
Thus, Operation Radish Ambush was born.
This guy gets away with quite a bit of ridiculousness, but murdering my radishes is the straw the broke the camel’s back… I think that’s how that expression goes, but what I’m really trying to say is,
FUCK YOU NEIGHBOR, YOU’RE GETTING RADISH AMBUSHED… You’re getting RAMBUSHED.
I’ve also heard that mint, and strawberries spread like swine flu, so maybe I’ll throw in some of those. It will look like Christmas. (Christmas from hell).

PS. YES I’ve gone over the possibilities of animal attacks. It was the Senor.

OPERATION RADISH AMBUSH II

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Jam with Tamarama

June 5, 2009 at 2:18 pm (crazy, Good Things, Gossip, kate, Music, News, Shout outs, Toronto, Want) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , )

Jay and Pottsy of Tamarama

Jay and Pottsy of Tamarama


So, my roomie Hilary and I went to a Darfur benefit concert this Tuesday at the Berkeley Heritage Church, featuring Australian import band, Tamarama.
You might recognize the frontman, Jay, from MTV’s The City. Once we managed to get past the fact that we were surrounded by swooning 16 year old girls, it was pretty fun. The bar was barren though so we had to make our way across the street to a very shady bar called Buffalo’s, where we got into an argument with a man about the skillset of Lady Gaga, and discussed the Dixie Chicks. Then his girlfriend threatened to beat us up, for allowing conversation.
ANYHOO. The show was fun, but what was more fun was coincidentally befriending the band’s manager, who allowed us our own meet and greet session.
4some

4some

. Everyone was soo excited to meet Jay and Pottsy because they are former models and Jay was on The City, AND dated the hottest girl alive, my favourite VS model. We were equally excited to meet the other guys too, the forgotten ones!
sweet little Jasper, we wouldn't forget you

sweet little Jasper, we wouldn't forget you


During our meet and greet, we half jokingly suggested they come to a bar with us, since we were probably the only girls in there of legal drinking age. And he proceeded to say the single greatest possible word that could have come out of his mouth at that exact moment…”Okay.”…. Wait, what? Now the pressure was on to think of a hip enough bar to impress them with, but the first suggestion that came out was, “not Buffalo’s”. Knowing where NOT to go is at least a start. I said if this actually happened I would eat my ticket.
P1030405
Anyways, we ended up at the Drake Hotel, pretty snazzy. There was tequila, it got pretty sloppy, especially for a Tuesday night. We left Jay the hot aussie in a pool of admirers (how the eff did they get in, does the Drake only ID on weekends?) got some drunk pizza which was in a word, awesome, and made it home in time to sleep for an hour before work. W00t!
post-tequila

post-tequila


We did it all for the good cause! 100% of ticket sales went to benefit Darfur.
the band

the band

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Bigger isn’t better

April 6, 2009 at 2:35 pm (agencies, Gossip, industry) (, , , )

I was out with a friend the other night who works at a major international ad agency, which shall remain undisclosed, but it’s one of the awards whores and one that every little ad boy and girl vie to get their foot into. When we graduated from school this friend was crazy about the ad biz, just loved it. But after working at this huge and prestigious shop, they are ready to quit forever, and angry and bitter at the world.
So wtf? Getting briefs at 5am, working ’til midnight every Friday, being frequently scolded by the CD, and feeling untrusted because you’re the only one in the office not snorting cocaine, might have something to do with it.
It makes me appreciate working in a small shop that much more. People here are bonded and look out for each other, no one takes credit for each others work, and I can’t imagine my Creative Director every saying anything like, “fuck you, go back to the drawing board”.
To me, Monday morning isn’t even a bad thing anymore. Whereas at some other places, every day feels like a shitty Monday. Even the weekends, because you’re just that bitter. The only benefit of working in a huge international shop seems to be simply the name on your resume. And even that doesn’t sound like it’s worth it. I’d stay loyal to the small shops (especially this one) over the big ones annnyy day of the week.

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