Animal of the Week: Solenodon

November 3, 2011 at 7:46 pm (Animal of the Week, animals, crazy) (, , , , , , , )

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “What. The. Fuck.” I can explain.

The Solendon, which, at first glance, appears to be some sort of anteater mole hybrid birthed from the mind of Tim Burton, is actually a jolly little Cuban creature.

Boots the Monkey, eat your heart out, amiright?

The Solenodon looks so cute.  It looks so pocket sized and manageable. Kind of like a hedgehog but fluffier and sporting a permanent loving and dolphin-like smile.
And hey, here’s another fun fact you may not have realized, that smile is loaded with kisses FUCKING LETHAL VENOM.

I am not even joking. It emits venom through it’s teeth similar to the way a rattlesnake would. Not only that, but apparently it’s on its period 24/7 because it is extremely irritable all the time, and it does not hesitate to bite. Reconsidering this as a pet option?

Everyone thought they were extinct, until scientists discovered a few in 2003. They were found in  a cave and plotting our demise.

There is something to appreciate about a rare and venomous mammal like this, and I’m always grateful for things that eat insects. Some BBC researchers went Solenodon hunting last summer, and found out that Solenodons smell musty, like an old drape or a pocket, they like quiet alone time, and they enjoy trying to bite and scratch BBC people.

It really is kind of cool because they’re quite ancient, and haven’t really evolved. They look the same as they did when they were chilling with dinosaurs 76 million years ago. 

REMEMBER: Their venom is not deadly to humans, just unpleasant. So if you see one, feel free to give into your temptation. Surrender to it’s sweet little face and cuddle it up and love it. Just double bag yourself and it will probably be okay*.

*In some instances the following may occur


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Animal of the Week: Janitor Dog

January 7, 2011 at 8:58 pm (animals, Good Things, Want)

NOT to be confused with The Dog Janitor, which is a company that cleans your dog shit. This is much different. This is a dog that cleans your shit. His name is Neo, he’s like a Matrix puppy from some kind of janitor Matrix!

Sad Keanu lost job to Janitor Dog

What more could you ask for? No longer are you burdened by having to get up off the easy-boy chair and carry your crushed cans of Coors (and/or Bud) Light all the way to the recycling bin. Or if you’re a real monster, the regular garbage.

Reuse Reduce and Recycle

But really, this is the most effective anti-littering campaign I’ve ever seen. Who wants to make the innocent little puppy do dirty work, pushing his little cart on his little legs with his little broom. Aww he so little.

He should be hired to appear on Hoarders , then the ratings would really fly.

proper training looks like this.

Now available in Otter:

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Office cats and you

November 25, 2010 at 4:08 pm (agencies, animals, Good Things, random, SapientNitro, Want)

Let us discuss the benefits of housing a small feline in your work environment.

Why is this perfect? I will tell you. A cat does not give a shit about you. It won’t bother you while you’re working, it won’t beg you to take it for a walk moments before a client meeting, it will just be present.

They boost morale
Happy workers are better workers. Kittens evoke happiness wherever they go. How can you not feel joy when a kitten stumbles into the room, maybe chasing its own tail like a really small drunk person, but cuter and covered in fluff.

With a cat in the office, you have endless opportunities to take photos of it in compromising positions, and make your very own lolcat captions.

Cats can be tables
What’s better than a table with stuff on it? That’s right, a cat with stuff on it.
If there’s an entire website dedicated to it, like, it must be worth doing. Daily.

Cats = the internet
We work in online, the internet is our home and playground. That being said, we have to take into consideration… The internet fucking loves cats.

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Animal of the Week: Sun Bear

November 22, 2010 at 7:20 pm (animals, random)

taste the rainbow

The Sun Bear has two names, Sun Bear and Honey Bear, both equally adorable. That sounds so cute, it just makes me wanna put honey all over myself then approach its babies.
They’re found in the tropical rainforests of Asia, and stand about 4 ft high, so they’re on the smaller side of the bear family. Even more reason to make friends with them.
Sun Bears also can’t keep their tonuges in their mouths because they use them to ram beehives. Imagine that in your ear? It could probably de-brain you if it wanted to… Remember that next time you think to yourself: “it’s only 4 feet tall and has poor vision, let’s jump on its back and see if we can ride it.”

If Winnie the Pooh was ever made into a live action production, a Sun Bear should play him.

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Animal of the Week: Angora Rabbit

February 23, 2010 at 8:12 pm (animals, Want) (, , , , , , )

Buried within the depths of 150lbs of fluffy, white hair, therein lies….A bunneh.

find the rabbit

It came from Turkey, and used to be a popular pet for rich French people. So you know these guys are classy. At first glance, you might think you have encountered the yeti, but like most things in life, you just need to look a little deeper.

I eat Angora rabbits for breakfast

Though I’m positive they’re good for other things too, Angoras are bred mainly for their fur, because it is soft, silky, and there’s a shitload of it.

Here’s a video of one getting a haircut. The machine they’re using to hold it looks a little alarming, but don’t worry, I’m pretty sure it’s not dead.

They are also International. There are English ones, French ones, German ones, and my personal favourite, Giant ones.

yo Louise that rabbit is CRASI

The giant kind, are… Giant. Even bigger than Louise’ friend. They have so much goddamn fur, they try to clip it themselves (because they’re efficient like that), and could end up with “wool block”, similar to “throat block” or “choking”. If they have space to run, and get to eat fruit, it helps move the wool through their system and they can eat and shit alll the wool in the wolrd. Or on their bodies, which is probably equivalent to all the wool in the world.

I can't see shit

In conclusion, Angora rabbits would make the perfect pet. They’re playful, social, like attention, like toys such as pinecones, gloves, plastic balls, stuffed socks, they’re starting to seem a bit perverse. But all the better.
Bonus Feature: You can also use them as a pillow, they love their owners so it most likely wouldn’t bite your face off if you tried.

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Puppy vs Kitteh

September 24, 2009 at 1:54 pm (animals) (, , , )

Jimmy Page vs. Jersey.
They do this every day. Who knew a little bit of epic music could make things so much more intense.

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Animal of the Week: Spiderman Lizard

September 21, 2009 at 6:52 pm (animals, crazy, trends, Want) (, , , , , , , , , )

watch out here comes the lizard spider man

watch out here comes the lizard spider man

Behold. It is a lizard, and it looks like Spiderman. Nothing could be more perfect, except if it were an actual spider, OR if Spiderman had been Lizardman the whole time. But it’s kind of too late for that now, he’s already too well established as Spiderman. And how would Lizardman become Lizardman? I don’t think they bite. Maybe he could get whiplash from the lizard’s tail, and it breaks the skin or something. Either way, irrelevant.

Oddly enough, in one episode of the retro Spider-Man cartoon, he and the Lizard King were actually enemies. Assuming mating would be out of the question after this, I’m not sure how Spiderman lizard came about.
This guy’s real name is the Mwanza flat-headed rock agama… But isn’t it so much more fun to say Spiderman lizard? I think so.

Facts with suggested additions about the real Spiderman Lizard.

-They’re from Sub-Saharan Africa. (We can say sewers of New York City for argument’s sake though)

-They have a diet of locusts, crickets, mealworms and waxworms. (We can say diet of criminals and street thugs for argument’s sake though)

-They can usually be seen basking on rocks in the heat of the day. (And fighting crime in alleyways in the dead of night)

-They can run on their hind legs and scale walls. (Addition not needed as this is already awesome.)

These apparently make very good pets, as if you weren’t already sold. But good luck getting one, demand is crazy and they’re sold out in most exotic pet stores. Karen Baker, the owner of a reptile specialist store in the UK says, “People are drawn to them because of their unusual colourings.”….. Yeah, maybe…Or because it looks like fucking Spiderman!

The comic fans are the most die-hard in finding this lizard as a pet. But I hope they do thorough research before buying. When the Agamas look cool, they look really cool, but these guys also turn brown a lot. What a disappointment that would be if you weren’t expecting it… Or anytime, really.

Not brown yet, still good

Not brown yet, still good

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September 3, 2009 at 3:22 pm (alcohol, animals, kate, travel) (, , , , , , , , , )

First, I went to one old place and one new place, to me. The old place was Key West. There’s a lot of personal history there, my parents met there, I got to see the house my mom lived in at the time, now it’s a jewelery store and probably looks heaps different but here it is anyway. See

My mom's old place

My mom's old place

We were on Carnival Cruise lines on a ship called Imagination. In other words, I’m on a boat, motherfuckers.

get your flippyfloppys

get your flippyfloppys

The ship staff was amazing, super attentive all the time, put on great shows, and had a great on board orchestra. I really wanted to hit on the bass player…
His name was Lee, and he played bass and he had an English accent. SOLD. Oh, and he could sing, Beatles. EXTRA SOLD.



The people were nice but it is littered with a lot of wretched excess type. I witnessed a LOT of gorging, which feels extra odd when you’re visiting countries such as our next location, Cozumel, Mexico. It was beautiful, but really really HOT. There was a little kid playing another type of Mexican bass instrument who I wanted to adopt. So cute, despite that he should have been in school during the time we saw him.



horseh does not approve of cooling method

horseh does not approve of cooling method

The food was all pretty good but the drinks weren’t included in the trip price. They are smart little bastards. They give you this card, called a “fun card” or something like that. It acts as a credit card so instead of paying for drinks and excursions in cash, you just swipe this little “fun card”, and all is well… Until that is, you get the bill. Then it’s anything but fun.
"Hey, nice drink." "Thanks, it was free with my fun card!" "OH RLY?"
It was crazy awesome to get to see the fam and be asea for a week anyway.

Next was a little trip I think of as “NYC round 2: Independence Day Edition.”

4th of, Ju-ly, Brooklyn's, on fire!

4th of, Ju-ly, Brooklyn's, on fire!

Since we are cheap bastards, we decided to take a bus to Buffalo and then fly into the city from there. We grabbed the necessities and got on board.


don't get too excited, it's just Buffalo

don't get too excited, it's just Buffalo

We met HEAPS (I learned that slang from the Aussies) of people in and around our hostel from Wales, London, Seattle, Guatemala, and Australia. We were bogans (another newly acquired Ausspeak!) and sat in the dirt and watched the sunrise on the 4th after fireworks and drinking.


We learned quickly that were in fact, watching the sunrise from the wrong side. Woteva, still good. Still good.
what's going on here?......awwwww shit.

what's going on here?......awwwww shit.

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Animal of the Week: Miniature Dwarf Horse. Wha?

August 12, 2009 at 3:25 pm (animals, crazy, News, Want) (, , , , , , , , )

LOOK AT IT. It’s the size of a KITTEH! SO little. So so little. There’s an explanation for that. It’s Koda! He’s an American miniature horse, who was also born a dwarf. Like a really short person who was also born a midget, kind of, not really.
Koda is so small, he is often mistaken for a stuffed toy, or battery operated toy if he’s walking. Standing at only 59cm (AWW) tall, he’s just 13-months old and has suffered a handful of health problems. But he has also pulled through them all, because he is a little. effing. trooper.

His next surgery is extensive dentistry to remove his protruding adult teeth that won’t fit in his little mouth.
‘He’s very brave and takes his medicine like a little man,’ said Dr Andy Lynch (Koda’s vet).

hai guise

hai guise

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Animal of the Week: Kevin from UP

June 17, 2009 at 2:32 pm (animals, News) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Everything about the movie UP was greatness. I haven’t enjoyed an animated movie like that in a while. One of the best parts is Kevin, the bird. She is soo hilarious, especially if you watch it while “up”, you know, up … you know?

Kevin looks like the prehistoric lovechild of Big Bird, an ostrich and Tucan Sam.
Anyways, if you haven’t seen Up yet you really should. It has 98% positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Meaning it’s almost a perfect movie. Whoever is in the 2% that said it was bad, hates life.

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