Travelling on a mission

May 11, 2010 at 9:49 pm (kate, travel, Uncategorized) (, , )

A year and a half ago, I watched as my own mother was physically and emotionally broken down by stage 4 lung cancer. I can only hope that was the worst experience I’ll ever endure. Despite efforts, I had to eventually come to terms that denial was ineffective, and that I was completely incapable and unable of doing anything to stop it. Its grip came with a wrath that nobody and no medical treatment could control, reverse, or even hold off.

Throughout my mother’s entire life, she had one dream that overpowered most others. To be traveling through Europe, or more specifically, the South of France. Whether it was due to family, finance, or other forces, there was always something blocking the path of the Europe dream. In the early summer months of 2009, it finally became attainable. I could tell she was going to be a pretty agreeable travel companion while we planned our itinerary, as the only place she really cared about seeing was the French countryside…

Timing was definitely not on our side, as right when her ultimate dream was within reach for the very first time, it was snatched away in what felt like an instant.

Obviously there are countless upsetting angles, but one of the ones that still bothers me the most today, is that she was so close to achieving the one thing she wanted so, so badly. It is unfair, enraging and sad.

In ghost stories, you hear the term “unfinished business” a lot. I don’t believe in ghosts, but this is certainly a prime example of unfinished business. Although I’m not very spiritual, I feel I owe it to her to give the next best thing. I’m going to scatter my mother’s ashes across the countryside of Southern France. I’m not exactly what you would classify as “a believer”, (I wish that I was) but I’m confident I will feel better when this is done. The circumstances are not exactly ideal, but she will get there.

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1 Comment

  1. Jacquelyn said,

    this made me tear up. You are so wonderful and you’re doing an amazing thing!

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