Animal of the Week – Alcoholic Vervet Monkeys

June 8, 2009 at 3:10 pm (alcohol, animals, crazy, travel) (, , , , , , , , , , , , , )

The coolest animal since the Jerboa. Fast foward to about the 2:00 mark to see drunk monkeys. Yes, they’re monkeys, who DRINK BOOZE. Proof of evolution lies in the eyes and liver of this beautiful creature.
They mostly hang out in parts of Africa, though some have made it over to Florida and the Caribbean islands. SIDE NOTE: I’ll be there June 22nd, and will gladly share some cocktails with them.

where the boozemonkeys reside.

where the boozemonkeys reside.

Protect your supply.

Protect your supply.

You can tell the males from the females because the males have blue penises. Whereas the females, have no penises.

Just like that fake vegetarian you know, the majority of their diet is grass and fruits, though they sometimes eat small insects. They have to drink every day, unfortunately most days this is just water. But for this reason, they never stray too far from rivers, lakes, and keg parties. drunkmonkey-1
In St. Kitts they’ve been known to steal brightly coloured boozy drinks from the tourists. If the monkey feels like his safety or drink is threatened, it will hunt you down and BITE your finger off, so if tourists drinks get taken there’s not much they can do about it.

You know that douchebag from the bar who gets wasted and wants to sing Bon Jovi karaoke then fight everyone? That’s exactly how these monkeys can get. At first they seem so fun, maybe even kind of cute, great to party with. But don’t touch their drinks, don’t look at their babies.

Fun fact: a Python can swallow a vervet monkey whole. WOW. So there you go, if you’re scared of the vervet monkeys, carry a Python.


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